Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
