At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
