We won't sleep together?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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