I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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