Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I will pee on everything he values.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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