The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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