Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
