Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
