I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
