its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
