Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
