yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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