have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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