Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you didnt know i had herpes?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
