I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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