I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't turn off my feet"
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