so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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