He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
