So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
