she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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