I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
