Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
