Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
