I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
