I'm really into asian looking animals
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His hands were made for my vagina.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
