Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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