It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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