Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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