He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize