probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
