Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
