you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
