I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
