Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
