Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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