If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
