Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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