Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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