can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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