Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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