dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize