She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
