It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Welp...herpes.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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