the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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