This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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