You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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