He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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