he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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