she looked like the before picture.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was not drunk enough for that final.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
