i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
