you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
