I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
