the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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