im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
