I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
