a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize