i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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