I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
they call him Oral-B. enough said
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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