I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
